Dear america,

I want a divorce, its not working out, we’ve tried but your abuse towards me is not healthy. If I want my life I have to leave you.  This has been on my mind for a long time as you know. I have tried leaving you on two occasions, because the abuse was just too much.  I did not feel like I belonged to you or rather with you.  You deride and defame me in public, you’ve abandoned our children, you lock them up in your man made cages and make me feel as though I will have to be a single mother forever.  america, for 400 years you have enslaved me, segregated me, created ridiculous laws just to prove I am human in your eyes.  Yet I have remained loyal to you in the face of all your tragic activities against me.  I’ve maintained my position to support you even to others who have called out your hypocricies, even when I wanted to call them out, how could I?  I have been reminded, a marriage is always worth fighting for, and that to give up would be to give up on all the sacrifices.  But I’m not giving up on the sacrifices america, I’m just giving up on you.  Because it is clear your callous and dysfunctional racism does not allow you to love me unconditionally.

Let us both acknowledge, I did not ask for your hand in marriage, you kidnapped me remember? It was a forced arranged marriage of the worst kind.  I was told I had no choice, I could not go back to my former love and be with him because you were more powerful, and my success would be appended to yours.  But more power does not equal a better life.  How I have sustained my self with you has been through the pure graces of the Almighty God, my ancestors and the fact that I have only wanted to see you change.  But you don’t, in fact you’ve become worse under the cloak of plastic roses you give to me, under the guise of protection, you offer abandonment.  I have to carry the burden of people always laughing at me when they come to see you because you are always much nicer to other people, but to me america, you remain virulent and truant.  I have been with you since the beginning, and you treat me as if you just picked me off the streets yesterday.  Most people who are abused cannot leave their abuser, they end up staying for years beyond recognition, how can I love u america, my abuser, my lyncher, my murderer, my incarcerator? If I want my life, I have to leave u.  If I have any sanity left, it will be because I left you for good this time.  I won’t come back.

But like any good divorce, spousal support is required, the last times I left, you did not help me with the children nor did you help me get back on my feet, so this time, I need full compensatory damages, alimony, a trust for the children, child support, and payment for my attorney fees.  Some would call this reparations, because the irreversible damage you have done to me is with full merit and evidence.  But your refusal to compensate me for my long suffering, rape, abuse, infidelity, libel and disenfranchisement has created a bankruptcy amongst my own standing.

america, you owe me a great deal hence you were the bread winner, and you kept me in such an insubordinate position that i was never in a place to become a bread earner.  The time has come for you to pay for your transgressions against me, america.  The love we were supposed to have, you could not find it in your heart to reciprocate, instead you denied your love to me because of your depravity, shame and guilt.  But I am ready to move on, start a new life, maybe with my old love so that we can be together.  But I most certainly can not be with you anymore, if I want my life, I must leave you so I want a divorce.

~Adjua

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